The Shit List: Cooper Boone

Ladies and gentleman, may I present to you the latest and perhaps second greatest example (screamo-crunk still takes the cake) of how pop culture just keeps slipping deeper and deeper into the toliet. I give you, Cooper Boone. But don’t take my word for it, just check out the lyrics to his masterpiece, “Cougar Dream.” Read after the jump if you dare.

Man, you are one brave soul. Here you go then.

“Cougar Dream” by Cooper Boone.

I broke down on the highway, hotter than hell
My luck dried up, no bars on my cell
A roar down the road, what could it be?
It was the biggest damn truck that I ever did see.
She opened the door and to my surprise
She was a Demi Moore double with wildcat eyes.
My Cougar Dream, came to rescue me.
My Cougar Dream, on the prowl for me.

She was a smokin’ hot granny, oh my lord
Hotter then the hood of my beat up Ford
She said son you ain’t from around these parts
Mamma’s gonna give you a little jump start
She cornered me fast, there was no escape
She said: “ MAN IS A COUGAR’S NUMBER ONE PREY”

I don’t think I’ve ever hated a song so much without even hearing a single note. Where’s Keyboard Cat when you need him?